Friday, August 04, 2006

leaving for Madison, WI today...

scurrying around right now trying to get ready for Ayla's show in madison this weekend... just signed up four days ago (they are so nice to us, letting us in at the last minute. :)
i've been putting bob burkett's beads on the site slowly, but it's hard to keep them in stock. i should have all of them up within a few days.

been thinking about a screenplay, too. maybe not a fairy tale yet. more of an observation of humanity: i had an altercation at a car parts store with another customer and left feeling like an a-hole just because i allowed him to pull me down to his level. I've also been working on a piano piece for the past several months and I've been stuck at the end of the bridge for a while now. so i put the two together and decided that the character in my story will use his experience at the car parts store (and what he learned about himself) by applying it to his music, showing him how to harmonize the uplifting primary melody with the depressing bridge melody, forming a duet of two voices: his desire for pure joy and light of love made stronger by a negative experience that has been magically transformed into goodness by someone who has simply shown love and understanding.

Or in other words, "Selfishness" is when you break a chain of goodness that has naturally made it's way to you. Allowing an act of negativity to continue through you is a result of "Lack in a Sense of Self-Love" (i.e. one selfish act justifying another). "Selflessness" (which is sort of an absurd word, if you look at it literally...but for my purpose here is being used simply as an opposition to selfishness... maybe "Ego-lessness") is when you break a chain of negativity by absorbing it's full force (unconcerned with entitlement, no need for justice or praise for oneself, not looking to blame anyone) and transforming it into love before you either send it on or say goodbye to it.

that's my story, briefly. i'm debating whether i want to go to the show by myself and write this, or if i want to take t.j. or tim up on their offers to come along just for the ride. Conversation is always better than listening to music. And although I have made some very important discoveries about myself while driving, nothing is better than companionship. I will ask tj first and then tim (he went last time)

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