Sunday, August 13, 2006

fellowship with Existence et al.

i have thought about my relationships with animals.
we only had one pet while i grew up. she was a dachshund named winnie. she was very kind and very loving to us, as we were to her. i know now that as a child i waited for her to become kind and loving before i did.
frick and paddy, the cats i have now, are comfortable with me because i am comfortable with them (and none of us are potential food sources for the others, so i'm sure that helps).

i was sitting outside today on a concrete block behind my house and i noticed a spider on my jeans. i would have normally jerked and swatted him off in one motion, but today i watched him.

i even felt the surge in my chest that always follows the discovery of insects coming into contact with my person, but i just watched him and stayed perfectly still. he was a little wigged for a moment, as i'm sure he could sense my anxiety. when finally i relaxed and went about my normal breathing, he seemed to be alright. he even hung out for awhile. we probably would have had some good conversation too if we could have.

point is, i think i'm starting to understand how love can open doors even between species. i imagine a terrified human would look more like a terrifying human to another animal. fear kills everything.

we live our lives in fear of the worst that could happen, and fear lives our lives for us.

i don't fear the things i love and understand.

1 comment:

Cynthia Thornton said...

Animals and people can sense emotion, leading them to react to what they percieve. Can someone sense fear in another, even though it isn't outwardly visible? Certainly. I think the same is true of many emotions. Destroy fear,hate,lust,etc. inwardly and that residue does not come to the surface. I am paranoid of catastrophe, this fear is well hidden, but it is there, revealing my attachments to the physical world, of losing what i love. The banishment of fear would make the world a better place.