Monday, November 20, 2006

what is love, anyway?

"Love" is a word I use to describe non-selfish, non-sexual, non-prejudiced compassion. Justice can be an act of compassion, revenge cannot. It's easy to justify the wrong things we do with the wrong things that have been done to us.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

a sense of self worth

I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend in San Fransisco about how I have changed throughout the years. She hasn't known me for long, but was surprised when I explained to her how shy and self-loathing I had been for a majority of my life (up until about two years ago...)

She asked me what was responsible for my change,

and I told her about how I had been stuck in an unending cycle:
Shy people are often misunderstood as snooty, as was I. Being treated that way made me even more shy. The cycle goes on and on until someone breaks it, and it had to be me.

And it happened one day when I made the following realization:
People who act negatively toward me upon first meeting do so for one of two reasons. Either they are joking, or they are judging me based on a stereotype. I know I have never been a mean person and have never brought harm to anyone. Confidence comes from knowing my true self, and what I know about myself is comforting.

People who think they are a great judge of character from the get-go are also disillusioned, assuming that a few minutes of communication within the entirety of an individuals' life is sufficient to make an accurate diagnosis.

It's just an excuse to close someone off. Usually a result of favoritism, most commonly brought on by the desire to fit within a particular social clique. People establish their status by notifying those who they feel are not worthy. Or in other words, put someone down to make him think he is below you.